I keep letting life’s little (or big) events take me away from the things I enjoy. One of which is this blog which I never can seem to get myself to dedicate myself to wholeheartedly. I think the thing that keeps me coming back to wanting to get this blog off the ground is that I wish I had been able to find a blog that I really felt resonated with me and my issues with chronic pain.
As I’m closing in on two years from when this whole debacle started I am trying to remain grateful. I spent one year tracking down every possible lead to sniff out what was actually making me sick and that turned out to be Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth (SIBO). I pretty unknown illness despite how many people it most likely effects. Then this past September I was diagnosed with Endometriosis and was whisked into surgery to remove a fibroid, two cysts and a handful of endometriosis, plus a hernia! After the surgery I wasn’t getting better the way the doctors had anticipated so they removed the IUD to see if that was causing issues, but everything was still extremely painful. I feared that i would never be able to return to work after the leave I took to heal after the surgery. I was emotional and physically hanging on by a string.
At what felt like my 20th appointment with my gyno specialist he thought I may possible have trigger points. Trigger points are areas that are the source of the pain, but the actual pain can be sending referral pain all over the place. So he did an injection into my stomach and I felt better for almost two weeks! That had been the first time I’d felt consistently better in almost 6 months. Then I had a crappy week followed up by a pretty good month overall. However, everything went back to crap and I found myself more depressed than ever after flying so high only to crash to the ground. Boo.
My mom and I decided it was time for me to see a pain specialist to see if there was anything else I could do to help the pain besides Norco. I currently see a pelvic pain physical therapist, I’m starting on a new birth control, I take CBD oild and follow a strict diet, but I still couldn’t control the pain and even the Norco was barely taking the edge off now. So I was really putting a lot of hope into this appointment. I explained what was going on and that I knew some of this was endo related and I was working to control that by getting on BC, but that I just had a gut instinct this was something more and was related to over tightening in my stomach.
The specialist must have felt similarly, because she put me on Gabapentin for nerve pain and said that she too felt like I might have trigger points, but that it would probably take more than one shot to feel better so not to get discouraged and that I may have a nerve entrapment involved as well.
That brings us to now. I feel like so much of my life has been stripped away from me. My chronic pain prevents me from leading the kind of life I want to and most of the time stops me from being able to make plans more than a day in advance, but I will get better! I will get to a point where I can manage the pain and have the kind of life I want. Yes, that may require compromise on my part about what that kind of life looks like, but I will get there.
I am so tremendously grateful that I have such an amazing support network. That my body wants to keep up in this fight and that I live near a large city so I’m able to get very knowledgeable doctors who know what they are doing and are on the cutting edge of treatments.
For those who suffer…from anything really…please remember that you are useful and you can still partake in this world. You still have all of you to offer the world.